Sunday, 7 June 2009

Opening my eyes then closing the lid

While i was going to a great drug rehab centre for my drug addiction we were all asked to write a letter about the drug we took,why we hated it and saying goodbye to it.I suppose in a way its like dumping a lover by post,Yet for me it was more like my soul mate,
At first it felt stupid writing a letter to my amphetamine friend/foe but once i got into it it was such a weight off my mind,telling it i hated it and wanting it out of my life was surprisingly easier then i thought,once i started i couldn't stop and thus ended up with the following poem,Whatever choice of addiction people suffer this will mean something to them I'm sure,and even if you are not an addict yourself and maybe just love and care for someone that is I'm sure you will find aspects of my poem may help you understand them a little bit more. please read and take something with you and that something is Hope is their for everyone,fight and keep fighting for your happiness,never give up on life or yourself.

,For ten years I believed you helped me survive,
For ten years I believed you kept me alive,
When I first met you,you showed me a way,
To get through the trials of everyday,
When my three children were young,you gave me your aid,
But then you took over and my mind was swayed,
I thank you for helping me when i needed you most,
At the same time i despise you for turning me into a ghost,When i say ghost i mean i know I'm not dead,
But you screwed up my life,and fucked with my head
You made me believe i needed you around to cope,
You stole all my self esteem,and robbed me of hope,
You prey on your victims,allowing them to feel weak,
Stealing their dreams so the future looks bleak,
Now i know you are nothing your raw and your fake,
I was one of your victims but now I'm awake,
I'm awake to the fact i have strength from within,
Now I'm taking it back and wont let you win,
Ive opened my eyes and now know right from wrong,
Ive found the person i was before you came along,
You are just a substance of hate your not even real,
And i have found something that you never will,
I have family,love and reason to live,
Which is something i know you could not give,
To get rid of you is harder than i thought it would be,
Yet now you no longer have that hold over me,
I'm stronger and wont let you rule my life anymore,
My futures without you,now I'M shutting the door.

Please leave a comment or question or anything you wish
i promise if i can help in any way i will,


CimmiCSYMSOfficial said...

touching and inspiring poem and story, thank you for sharing it with me.

Mika's Thought's... said...

This so so lovely and well-written. I wish you the best. Keep holding on and never give up. Take good care.

Ses said...

A really beautiful and inspiring peom.

carlyluvsunited said...

That is inspiring. Just remember, it takes a person of great strength and character to live the life you are now.......any asshole can take drugs. So keep it up and stay away from the drugs Miss xx

PhilipH said...

Darn good work and strong poetry. To always look on the bright side of life is not easy. When you were in the grip of despair and drugs you must have found strength from the depths of your psyche and you won thru. Great stuff. Best wishes, Phil

pam said...

you always amaze me beyond belief...but this poem...i have never read anything so powerful, well-written and true. the way you worded this poem-you captured addiction and how drugs affect your life; they are like an old friend who understands you better than anyone. people who have not lived with addiction dont understand that drugs are the best friend who understands you and is there for you when no one else is. thats what makes it so hard to give them up; its like letting the only thing in your life thats been there no matter what go. your insight is incredible! this poem made me understand why its so hard to quit. with that understanding I can move forward with a new sense of understanding of my addiction. I have you to thank for that.